Whether you’re ruled by Earth, Air, Water or Fire, we know what indie goodies the planets have in store for you this month. Welcome to Indie Horoscopes.
November’s theme: The indie product to match your sign.
Aries (March 21 – April 29)
Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, so it’s no wonder you’re always the leader of the pack. You’re a trendsetter – sophisticated, unique and always ahead of the curve, just like this Olive Sea Salt Shortbread. Lark Fine Foods created these wafers as an ode to the classic French treats known asscourtins, which are named after a rare (like you) part of Provençal olive oil production. Apparently, olive paste was pressed through a huge stack of circular mesh-like screens made of coconut fiber, which acted as filters and left the resulting “first-press olive oil” below. Break out these sweet, savory and salty shortbreads and teach your friends something new – they’ll catch on soon, just like they always do.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
You are the master of patience and perseverance, but for you it’s not the journey – it’s the destination. So, why not satiate your desire for instant satisfaction with our Mouth-made Chocolate Bar Trio? For once, someone did the work for you. We spent endless hours testing recipes to create the three perfect chocolate bars: the High Five, stacked with layers of peanut butter, pretzels and caramel, the Flat White, a coffee and white chocolate bar with frothed milk folded in for creamy, velvety texture (it tastes like a latte) and the Toffee Break, which hits a happy medium of tacky crispness and smooth, melty chew. Go on, reward yourself.
Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20)
Energetic, clever, imaginative, witty and adaptable… you are always exciting to be around. Fuel your free spirit with a Coffee Every Month subscription – each month you’ll receive two to three full bags of outstanding whole-bean coffee, along with a short yet super-informative little lesson about that month’s coffee theme. Some say you’re a bit flighty, but prove them wrong – we know you’re not afraid of commitment.
Cancer (Jun 21 – July 22)
You are deeply emotional, sentimental and private, and value family and home above all else. So pick up a copy of the cookbook Dinner: A Love Story, written by Jenny Rosenstrach. Jenny and her husband, Andy, regularly (some might say pathologically) cook dinner for their family every night. Even when they work long days. Even when their kids' schedules pull them in opposite directions. They are not superhuman. They are not from another planet. They’re just like you, passionate about caring for those they love.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You are magnetic, fiery and driven by the desire to be loved and admired. Just like Habanero Dry-Rub Uncured Bacon. This fiery bacon is not for the faint of tongue (and neither are you). It's the kind of heat that lingers long after the last strip (no comment). The habanero's natural sweetness is highlighted by just a little maple sugar, but this is full-on savory swine. An exceptional meat-to-fat ratio means a low-and-slow cook yields substantial strips of full-flavored bacon with the perfect amount of smokiness.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You are the most organized person anyone knows. Some may criticize you for being picky and critical, but we only see those as positives. This month, fully commit to your beautiful crazy self with this JCOCO Rainbow Chocolate Set. Each colorful package contains three bars, individually-wrapped with 1970's fashion photography. And the chocolate inside doesn’t disappoint, either. Black fig and pistachio? Spicy orange? Your inner neat freak is totally geeking out.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You are peaceful and fair, always eager to restore balance, just like the most famous Libra of all time, PB&J Chocolate Bar. It is perhaps the most evenly keeled goodie to grace this earth. Unwrap and you'll notice an almost painterly, glittery burst of pink on the top, a little clue. Bite and you'll taste French raspberry pâte de fruit and salty sweet peanut praline covered with rich dark chocolate. Breathe easy: No conflict here.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You are a singular, rare spirit, full of intensity and depth. This month calls for a kindred spirit with equally complex, deep notes: Van Brunt Stillhouse Single Malt Whiskey. Aged for nine months in small new American oak casks (instead of the Scotch tradition of large, used casks), with flavors of roasted grain, smooth malt along with bright notes of honey and vanilla… Finally, something strong enough to bite back. We see you, Scorpio.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
You are the ultimate free spirit: optimistic, open-minded and ambitious. This month is all about having fun and trying new things, like Dude, Sweet Chocolate’s Chocolate Salami. This whimsical chocolate salami looks so much like the real (porky) deal, but is made with figs and marzipan. The dark chocolate and cocoa nibs keep it firmly grounded in pure, rich chocolate. Serve it alongside cheese like you would regular salami, then just wait to watch your how your guests react to your famous sense of humor.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
With your passion for hard work and desire to be at the top, you’ll never settle for just one of anything. You want the best of the best and are unwaveringly cool, calm and collected… Dare we say, cool as a cucumber? This month, go all in (like you always do) with this Peck Of Pickles taster. In it are five delightfully vinegared, perfectly pickled cukes, so you can really get to work. You’re welcome.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Friendly, future-minded, always the life of the party. We know it can be exhausting, so give yourself a break from all the party planning and subscribe to Wine Every Month. Each month you’ll receive different indie styles of wine (many will be organic or biodynamic, which we know you appreciate), perfect for impromptu ladies’ nights (which you always seem to host) or, turn off and treat yourself to a bath and a glass. All you have to do is pop the cork and enjoy.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
It can take a toll, being so deeply emotional, communicative and sympathetic. Raley’s Confectionary Emoticandy makes it easier: Each little candy is painted with a different emoticon (smiley face! sad face!), are made with organic sugar and come in fruity flavors like cherry, lime, banana, raspberry and blueberry. (It is said that Pisces are prone to synesthesia, being so empathetic and all.) This month, dive deep into your spiritual self and experiment with communicating without words. Or, eat your feelings. You do you, Pisces.