Our current time in Crazytown begs for magical concoctions that will make it all okay, or just let you find it all funny for an hour and fifteen minutes.
The Nasty Mujer
If you’re gonna throw a drink at someone, make it count.
It’s grape season, which is convenient, because grapes are very good at staining the shirts of people who insult you or invade your personal space. Mezcal takes that tannic edge to a smoldering, appropriately scary place. Vermouth elevates and provides autumnal reinforcements. Yeah, it’s a weird-sounding combo, but what better to accompany this weird moment in history? It goes down a lot easier than anything you’ve seen on cable news in months. Just don’t throw it at your TV.
- Add grape juice, mezcal and vermouth to shaker. Mix until combined and well-chilled.
- Serve over ice and garnish with two gropes. Er, grapes.
The Bitter Orange
Like a screwdriver with a mean streak.
Orange is the best color. The best! And the fruit? Come on, people. People say it makes the best mixer. Not like those other loser mixers. Lime? Such a sour fruit. SAD. Oranges are sweet, okay, but it also has that peel, the peel, you know is the part that really makes it. So here we have a drink, it’s such a good drink I’m bringing you here, you will not believe how good it is. If you really want greatness you should try it with these, they’re like Cheetos but they’re better, the best, really.
1 ounce Catskill Distilling Company Peace Vodka
1 ounce Bittermans Amère Nouvelle
½ ounce Fruitlab Orange Liqueur
5-8 dashes Hella Bitters Citrus Bitters
Juice and a few chunks of peel from one small orange (or 4 ounces Orange Juice, fresh or otherwise)
- Add vodka, Amère, orange liqueur, bitters, and juice to shaker. Mix until combined and well-chilled.
- Serve over crushed ice with a peel and pith hairdo garnish.