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No Costume Required: Upgraded Treats For Grown-Up Kids

One of the universal rewards of parenthood is getting to raid the Halloween haul (after the little goblins are tucked snugly in their beds, of course). If yours keep obsessive track of their booty, blame the dog. Or, you pull your parents’ old trick and claim that the wrappers looked “suspicious.” Funny that the candies in question were always their favorites…

But a few pieces in, we find that the heist loses its thrill. Did chocolate always taste this waxy? Did those fruity drops always cause lockjaw, or did we just chew through the pain?

The kids can keep it all this year. We’ll be reaching for upgrades – no tricks, costumes or sneaking around required. And get this: the treats come to your door. But be careful not to gloat when your box o’ treats arrives or you might have to start hiding your stash from them.  

FIKA Milk Chocolate Covered Malt Balls are so melt-in-your-mouth, preoccupy-your-thoughts delicious that we almost totally forgot about that kind that we used to pour into our mouths from a box that looked like a milk carton. Oh, the folly of youth!

Black Pig Meat’s Bacon Peanut Butter Cups would be a step up from the brand we all know (and used to love) even if they didn’t contain bacon. The chocolate’s dark and sprinkled with smoked sea salt. The peanut butter’s roasty and smooth. And then, yep, there’s that bacon.   

Mayana Coconut and Salted Caramel Bar is the kind of candy bar you’d like to have on a desert (dessert?) island. Crunchy (layer #1 = coconut cookie), chewy (layer #2 = fleur de sel caramel) and creamy (layer #3 = fluffy coconut), it wants for nothing. Except maybe some living relatives to prove that it did, at one time, exist. 

Quin Candy Blackberry Tangerine Gumdrops will make you scream goody, goody gumdrops. But shh, pipe down or your secret’s out. We know you taught your kids to share, but these zesty, irresistibly chewy candies made with a purée of local blackberries are best hoarded and appreciated by adults.      

Big Picture Farm Cocoa Latte Goat Milk Caramels bear absolutely no resemblance to those cubes that take an eternity to unwrap and then even longer to extract from your molars. Made with raw goat milk, goat milk butter and white chocolate, these are a caramel-lover’s dream. Oh, and a coffee-lover’s dream too: They’re laced with espresso. Definitely not for kids.

And if you still find yourself craving some cheap treats from childhood, I’m sure your kids will be up for trading a few pieces. You are their biggest role model after all.

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