Mouthpiece

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5 Gifts The Bride And Groom Actually Want (Hint: One Is Bacon)

It’s September, which means wedding season is over, right? Guess again! Here come the lovely fall foliage weddings, the breathtaking white winter weddings and the destination weddings you need to renew your passport and declare bankruptcy for. And what’s that? Another Le Creuset request?!

If you’re anywhere around your 30s, you’ve probably gifted approximately two million cast iron skillets in the last 5 years. But fear not! We’re here to help shake things up. Allow us to introduce the revolutionary gift-giving idea that critics (read: newlyweds) are calling a “Smashing success”: fun and affordable food and booze gift subscriptions

What’s better than a new set of bedsheets? Food! What’s more fun than a gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond? Booze! Twenty years from now Rocco and Piper are not going to know who got them that knife set, but they will remember who provided them with bacon for three months.

Below, 5 ideas for gifts for certain types of couples that are one million times better than a Dutch oven:

Are they human and do they have taste buds? Then they need bacon, because bacon lasts a lifetime.

Do the bride and groom love baked goods? Because the secret ingredient is love and baking takes patience, just like a relationship? Shower them in cookies.

Are they both kind of jerks, but you love them anyway? Tell them with their soul food: jerky.

Are they going to spend the next three months doing nothing but cheers-ing each other in a self-congratulatory sort of way? Nothing says “I support your decisions” like a monthly wine subscription.

Are they the healthy kind of people that wake up super early to exercise before work? Reward them with the gift that keeps on giving: coffee. Because they need it.

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